If you’re in a marriage that isn’t working out and you’re not sure what to do, you probably tell yourself that you’re doing the best you can and that everything is going to be just fine.  At some point, however, you must make the difficult divorce decision of whether or not to stay together.
Making “no decision” is almost always the wrong decision.  If you’re like a lot of people (and couples), you might think that if you delay the final decision to divorce, the problems you are having will somehow magically heal themselves or disappear.  They won’t!
With so much to lose, the best time to plan for your divorce is long before you actually file any legal papers.  The ultimate goal is that you always think before you act.  Don’t do anything in the heat of the moment that you may regret later, and don’t do anything illegal.  You will find that planning ahead will allow you to make sound decisions and avoid some of the most common divorce mistakes.
1.  Set-up a separate e-mail account and delete temporary files on your computer.  When you use a computer almost everything you do leaves a trail which is next to impossible to permanently delete from the computer.   Divorce is a volatile time. Why make it worse with questionable computer activity?
2.  Hire a lawyer.  Some divorce attorneys and divorce law firms charge for an initial consultation and some do not.  In the initial meeting, you should be able to get some good advice and outline a strategy based on your particular facts and circumstances. You will also be able to assess the attorney to see if the two of you are a good fit. Legal fees often depend upon the filings of opposing counsel and your spouse’s willingness to negotiate a settlement.
3. Making strategic financial moves, such as the following:
“    Maximize assets in your individual name.

“    Run your own credit report.

“    Reduce the risk of your spouse increasing joint debt.

“    Check with your lawyer before transferring money in and out of accounts. There are no absolute rules in this area. Each case is unique.
4.  Gather Financial Information. The more you can organize your own financial documents, the more you will improve your chances of success. You are going to have to gather and organize a lot of information to assist your attorney with your case.
5.  Take what belongs to you and safeguard it.  Certain property can’t be replaced once it’s gone – high school yearbooks, jewelry, computer disks, your collection of CDs and DVDs, your family heirlooms, etc.  If it indisputably belongs to you and you fear your spouse might take it for spite or leverage, move it out of the house.  If you have several such items, move them out slowly, over time, before you announce your plans. Depending on the size of the objects, you might store them in a safe-deposit box, a storage facility, or the home of a trusted friend.
6.  Before you meet with your lawyer, figure out exactly what your spouse is earning.  If your spouse is a W-2 employee all you need to do is look at his or her paystub which makes things easier for you.  On the other hand, if your spouse is self-employed or owns a business, it is much more difficult to accurately determine his or her income.  If your spouse has a business partner, you may be able to learn how the partners are paid during a casual social conversation with the partner.  If your spouse is self-employed or gets paid in cash, keep track of the income flow over several months.
8.  Have your personal and sensitive mail sent to your office, a friend’s house, or rent a mailbox.
9.  Stop spending and start saving.  Watch your spending habits to see where your money is going.  Avoid spending money on things that you really don’t need or cannot afford.  You do not want to appear wealthier than you are and may hurt your case as it relates to spousal support.  Open a separate account – at a different bank – in your own name, and put away some of your own money every week.
10.  Stay connected with your children.  They’re going to need you more than ever once the tough times begin.  Think about the depth and quality of your relationship with them and do everything to enhance both.