Your retirement funds and accounts often represent the largest category of assets in the marriage.  Before you decide to give up retirement plan assets in exchange for the marital home or to each simply retain your own accounts, you need to know exactly what you’re dealing with and exactly what you may be giving up.
To get an accurate estimate of a retirement plan’s worth, you should have the plan valued by an expert.  You should find out what, if any, penalties and tax implications there will be if you divide and distribute the plan.  Also keep in mind that different methods for dividing the plan may be available to you.
Once you have identified all of the retirement assets, it is a matter of determining their value.  In most cases, the key is in understanding the different types of accounts:
Defined Contribution Plans are plans in which the person has their own account and there is a certain sum of money in an investment account.  The balance of the account builds as money is added to the account and as the investment grows, it generates interest or dividends.  These types of plans include 401(k) plans, profit-sharing plans, stock bonus plans, employee stock ownership plans (ESOP), and Individual Retirement Accounts (IRA).
Defined Benefit Plans are plans in which an employer promises to pay an employee a particular benefit when the employee reaches retirement age.  Employers make contributions to the plan, and the contributions sometimes can be increased by the employee.
The marital portion of the plan is, in basic terms, the portion of the plan that was accumulated and earned during the period of the marriage.
Once you know the value of the plans, you can decide how to divide them.  There are four options:
1.  Immediate Offset.  If you have other marital assets that can be used to balance the value of the retirement fund, the spouse not receiving the pension funds from the other asserts to equal or offset the value of the pensions.
2.  Division of the Plans.  You may wish to divide the value of the pensions now.  For defined contribution plans, this is relatively easy, however, a QDRO (Qualified Domestic Relations Order) is required.  This document, once approved by the court, instructs the plan administrator on how to divide the pension.
3.  Deferred Distribution.  You may decide to defer division of a Defined Benefit Plan until retirement in order to both determine what the actual amount of the pension will be, and to secure potential increases in the value of the pension as retirement age nears.
It is important that you incorporate provisions regarding the retirement funds into your Marital Settlement Agreement in case the QDROs are not drafted and approved by the time your decree is final.  If your rights have not been protected in the Separation Agreement, and your pensioned spouse dies after your decree is final but before the QDRO has been approved, your rights maybe lost.

If you’re in a marriage that isn’t working out and you’re not sure what to do, you probably tell yourself that you’re doing the best you can and that everything is going to be just fine.  At some point, however, you must make the difficult divorce decision of whether or not to stay together.
Making “no decision” is almost always the wrong decision.  If you’re like a lot of people (and couples), you might think that if you delay the final decision to divorce, the problems you are having will somehow magically heal themselves or disappear.  They won’t!
With so much to lose, the best time to plan for your divorce is long before you actually file any legal papers.  The ultimate goal is that you always think before you act.  Don’t do anything in the heat of the moment that you may regret later, and don’t do anything illegal.  You will find that planning ahead will allow you to make sound decisions and avoid some of the most common divorce mistakes.
1.  Set-up a separate e-mail account and delete temporary files on your computer.  When you use a computer almost everything you do leaves a trail which is next to impossible to permanently delete from the computer.   Divorce is a volatile time. Why make it worse with questionable computer activity?
2.  Hire a lawyer.  Some divorce attorneys and divorce law firms charge for an initial consultation and some do not.  In the initial meeting, you should be able to get some good advice and outline a strategy based on your particular facts and circumstances. You will also be able to assess the attorney to see if the two of you are a good fit. Legal fees often depend upon the filings of opposing counsel and your spouse’s willingness to negotiate a settlement.
3. Making strategic financial moves, such as the following:
“    Maximize assets in your individual name.

“    Run your own credit report.

“    Reduce the risk of your spouse increasing joint debt.

“    Check with your lawyer before transferring money in and out of accounts. There are no absolute rules in this area. Each case is unique.
4.  Gather Financial Information. The more you can organize your own financial documents, the more you will improve your chances of success. You are going to have to gather and organize a lot of information to assist your attorney with your case.
5.  Take what belongs to you and safeguard it.  Certain property can’t be replaced once it’s gone – high school yearbooks, jewelry, computer disks, your collection of CDs and DVDs, your family heirlooms, etc.  If it indisputably belongs to you and you fear your spouse might take it for spite or leverage, move it out of the house.  If you have several such items, move them out slowly, over time, before you announce your plans. Depending on the size of the objects, you might store them in a safe-deposit box, a storage facility, or the home of a trusted friend.
6.  Before you meet with your lawyer, figure out exactly what your spouse is earning.  If your spouse is a W-2 employee all you need to do is look at his or her paystub which makes things easier for you.  On the other hand, if your spouse is self-employed or owns a business, it is much more difficult to accurately determine his or her income.  If your spouse has a business partner, you may be able to learn how the partners are paid during a casual social conversation with the partner.  If your spouse is self-employed or gets paid in cash, keep track of the income flow over several months.
8.  Have your personal and sensitive mail sent to your office, a friend’s house, or rent a mailbox.
9.  Stop spending and start saving.  Watch your spending habits to see where your money is going.  Avoid spending money on things that you really don’t need or cannot afford.  You do not want to appear wealthier than you are and may hurt your case as it relates to spousal support.  Open a separate account – at a different bank – in your own name, and put away some of your own money every week.
10.  Stay connected with your children.  They’re going to need you more than ever once the tough times begin.  Think about the depth and quality of your relationship with them and do everything to enhance both.

Both spouses are entitled to some portion of the equity in the marital home.  How much of the equity each party takes is usually in dispute.  Just as is in alimony and other property and debt division cases, the factors set forth in the divorce statute are what a Judge must consider if your case goes to trial.
You and your spouse will most likely be faced with three options – each with its own unique tax consequences:
1.  The home is sold immediately and the proceeds are split.  There would be no capital gains tax on the sale of the residence, as long as the couple lived in the home as their primary residence for at least two of the five years preceding the sale and the gain is no more than $500,000.
2.  The home is to be sold at some future date and the proceeds are split at that time.  If the Marital Settlement Agreement allows one spouse to remain in the home for some time before it is sold, some tax consequences may result.  The non-resident spouse may no longer be entitled to the $250,000 (half) exclusion from capital gains to the non-resident because the home no longer qualifies as their principal residence.
3.  One spouse buys out the other’s interest in the home.  If one spouse buys out the other’s interest in the property, careful attention must be given to any taxes owed by the selling spouse (after taking into account the $250,000 exclusion).  Special attention should be paid to taxes to be paid by the purchasing spouse on assets which must be liquidated in order to buy out the other spouse.
What is the House Worth?
No matter which approach you take, you’ll probably need your lawyer to get an appraisal of the house.  If the two of you can be cooperative, a joint appraisal should suffice.
Decisions to Make
If you’re the one who’s remaining in the marital home, make sure you can afford the mortgage payments.  Inquire about what loan options you have:  Fixed rate?  Variable rate?  15-, 20-, or 30-year loan?  You should also consider whether you really want to live in the house, or whether you’re more focused on winning the house.  Quite often, a year following the divorce, those who remain in the home report that they may have made a mistake in keeping the house.  They claim that the house represents too many atrocious memories and getting a fresh start may be in everybody’s best interest.
If you’re the one who’s leaving, think through how the move will affect your credit.  Will your name still remain on the loan?  What happens if your spouse doesn’t pay?  Even if your spouse does pay, will this hinder your ability to purchase another home since the loan on the first home is still in your name?  Will creditors downgrade your credit score?
Considerations
“    One spouse may recommend selling the house and splitting the money.  This can be detrimental because most people spend the lump sum settlement, and have nothing left to invest.  Your house is a forced savings.

“    Never sell in a down market, which is what many locales are experiencing today. Don’t sell just to get out of a bad situation.  Don’t sell at the bottom, period.

“    Make sure you have every tax advantage in keeping the house, the right to itemize deductions and deduct the mortgage interest and property taxes.  That is another benefit of owning real estate.

“    If things get really tight, consider taking in a roommate, or utilizing another rental situation.

When one party is either self-employed, or has ownership interest in a business, two issues arise.  First, as it relates to support, there are many ways a divorcing spouse can hide income to minimize child support or alimony obligation.

The second issue as it relates to business ownership is that a business is more than just a source of income – it is a complex asset that must be properly valued and accounted for in the final property settlement agreement.  Dividing the value of the business without damaging the business itself requires experience and skill.
The best way to handle the valuing of a business is to file for divorce first, then have your lawyer subpoena your spouse’s business records.  There is a wealth of information contained within these financial documents and an experienced “business mind” will help you organize and assess it.
Quite often, issues such as under-reporting income and hidden assets creep into business ownership.  The most common forms of deception are:
“    Salary payments to a non-existent employee, with checks that will be voided after the divorce.

“    Money paid from the business to someone else – such as a father, mother, girlfriend, boyfriend – for services that were never actually rendered (the money is eventually given back once the divorce is final).

“    Delays in signing long-term business contracts until after the divorce.  Although this may seem like smart divorce planning, if the intent is to lower the value of the business it is considered hiding assets.

“    Prepayment of expenses in order to lower the profitability of the business.

“    Payment of personal expenses from the business – lowering the real value of the business and hiding income of the spouse.  Some expenses may be deemed reasonable (auto expenses and health insurance), but others could be extreme (unlimited travel and entertainment, payment of life insurance policies, etc.).

Divorce often presents tax issues and problems, including those relating to property and debt, alimony, child support and sometimes previously-filed (or yet to be filed) tax returns.
Because of the complexity and high stakes associated with divorce and taxes, this area is one in which you should try to keep the communication open and the emotions out.  It will only benefit Uncle Sam if you file separate tax returns out of spite when filing jointly is beneficial.  Do not assume that you will be able to claim all deductions and exemptions.  That will only lead to fines, penalties and audits if you are wrong.  Make sure that all tax-related issues are settled and clearly stated in your Marital Settlement Agreement.
Several issues arise related to divorce and taxes:
1.  Filing Status:  How are you going to file your taxes?  Determine the most financially feasible way to file.  Typically, filing a Married Joint Return will result in the lowest taxes.  Hint:  Do not look at a joint return as any kind of “attachment” to your spouse; this decision is strictly financial.
2.  If you do sign a joint return, the law holds both you and your spouse responsible for the entire tax liability.  This is called joint and several liability.  Joint and several liability applies not only to the tax liability you show on the return but also to any additional tax liability the IRS determines to be due, even if the additional tax is due to income, deductions, or credits of your spouse or former spouse.  You remain jointly and severally liable for the taxes, and the IRS can still collect from you, even if you later divorce and the divorce decree states that your former spouse will be solely responsible for the tax obligation.
3.  If you have wrongfully been held responsible for your spouse’s obligation, you can claim that you are an “innocent spouse” and file the appropriate forms with the IRS. Here, you argue that you did not know, and had no reason to know, about any under-reporting of income or other wrongdoing associated with the filing of the return and therefore should not be held responsible for paying any additional taxes, penalties or interest due.
4.  Exemptions:  You may claim a child that does not live with you only if it is stated in your Separation Agreement or if mutually agreed upon.  Allocation of the tax dependency exemption may be modified by the court upon the filing of a motion by either party.  If it can be shown that it would be in the best interest of the child for the non-residential parent to claim the child as a tax dependency exemption, the court can award the exemption to the non-residential parent.  Where there is more than one child of the marriage and one of the parties has a small amount of income, the tax dependency exemption and child tax credit may not be taken advantage of if that party claims all of the children.  At certain income levels, claiming more than one child may not increase the tax refund of the lesser earning parent, whereas the party with greater income could save thousands of dollars each year if the tax dependency exemptions are properly allocated.  For this reason, allocation of the tax dependency exemptions is a very important part of every divorce with minor children.
5.  Liabilities and Refunds:  Taxes owed, or refunds received, are usually treated as “marital” assets/liabilities and are, therefore, split equally among the parties.  In the heat of the moment, some spouses will intercept a tax refund and cash it without the other’s knowledge.  All funds must be accounted for and it is likely that if a spouse engages in this behavior their share of the final property settlement will be reduced.

Most states have strict laws about a parent relocating a child. We often represent parents with primary residential custody who want to move, as well as parents who do not want their child to relocate.
To prepare their motion, a parent must be specific and thorough in their preparation. A parent should analyze the following factors:
Neighborhood and School: Know where they will be living and describe the benefits of the neighborhood and the schools the child will attend (photos are helpful);
Daycare: Research any daycare facilities that they intend to use and include as part of your motion a brochure or contract from the provider;
Employment: If a parent is moving to improve themselves financially, they should include information regarding their new job or planned education including any employment contracts or offers, benefit information or brochures.
Health: If there are any health considerations regarding the move, those should be included as part of the motion along with any medical documentation. For example, if the move is to a warmer climate that benefits asthma (for the parent or child), the parent may wish to present medical evidence as part of their case.

Below are the 11 things anyone headed towards a divorce needs to be aware of:
1. Make a plan for the children. If you have them, make sure you have all the issues regarding your children figured out. Who will have custody and what will the parenting plan be like? Talk about who will pay for what for the children.
2.  Hire a Lawyer. Find at least two attorneys who specialize in divorce or family law. Meet with them, ask them questions and see which one you feel most comfortable with.
3.  Get some support. Start talking to people who are divorced for real world examples, tips and suggestions on what’s to come. Consider a therapist if you haven’t already seen one, who can help you with the emotional impact of a break up.
4. Start a divorce file. It could become very hefty over time, depending on the length, issues and contentiousness of your legal proceedings. Try to keep it organized so that you can easily find documents for your financial, emotional or legal experts if need be. Divorce translates to lots of paperwork. During this difficult time, your world will be easier if you keep all of the paperwork in a place where you can find it quickly.
5. Organize your financial paperwork. In the steps to consider if you are deciding to divorce, you will need to gather financial documents from insurance paperwork to house deeds. If you haven’t made copies, you should do that now. Have at least four copies each – your lawyer needs three and you need one for your own personal use.
6. Keep some personal items. If you are leaving your home, take any personal items like photographs, jewelry or papers that have special meaning to you. If your break up becomes heated, or already is, you may not be able to get to those items for some time, if ever. If not, having them with you may simply provide a sense of comfort as you move forward in your new life.
7.  Parenting time (custody) and financial responsibility are not tied together. Though you might have them tied together, these are two separate issues. When you confuse them or make them cause-and-effect items, all you do is squeeze your kids. It seems like such a natural (“if he doesn’t pay support on time, well then the kids just won’t be ready on time or at all” or “I’ll be damned if I’m going to send a check this month if she and her honey are going on a ski trip”), but this is not a life situation where each month comes to an even tally. It’s never even.  Equitable is the best you can hope for.  Marriage isn’t typically event, so divorce sure won’t be!
8. Divorce, unlike marriage, is forever when there are kids. Unless you really wish to lose your position as a parent (which is the hardest on kids), you will have family occasions, graduations, shared holidays, weddings and funerals that will continually bring you together over the years. Those knots in your stomach at shared public events, especially at the very beginning, are well known to others who have been through divorce.
9.  If you don’t hate your exiting spouse when you first separate, you will within three months! It’s next to impossible to skip this one though it always seems to come as a surprise. Why, nobody knows. Now you both have different agendas and no way will your priorities (usually money concerns or child-rearing issues) be the same as your ex’s.
10.  Don’t buy anything. No new cars, no new clothes, no new houses, no new jewelry, no new television sets, no lipo – you get the idea. This rule is especially important if child support or alimony is at issue in your case. Buying new things, even if you feel like your need them, signals to your soon to be ex- and opposing counsel that you have money to burn.
11.  If you are the non-custodial parent, don’t take your children out to eat each week. You want your children to enjoy their time with you and to want to come to your house for parenting time. This does not mean that you need to make their every moment a treat. All this does is teaches them that when things are hard emotionally they can get new things from you.

In property division you trade assets back and forth until the couple agrees on the division. In an equitable property division state, like Florida, you split the property equitably. It does not mean equally – it means fairly.
On the other hand, the word equality suggests fairness and equity for all parties involved. Unfortunately, the required equal division of property has forced more sales of family assets, especially the family home, so that proceeds can be divided between both spouses. The net result is increased dislocation and disruption, especially in the lives of children. It is unfortunate that the needs and best interests of the children take a back seat in many cases.
A second problem of equality is that a 50-50 division of property may not produce equal results – or equal standards of living after the divorce – if the two spouses are unequally situated at the time of divorce. This is most evident in the situation of the older homemaker. After a marital life devoted to her husband and children, she is typically without substantial skills and experience in the workplace. Most likely, she will require a greater share of the property to cushion the income loss she suffers at divorce. Rarely is she in an equal economic position at divorce.

Parental kidnapping is when one parent illegally takes a child in violation of a court order. When non-custodial parents resort to parental kidnapping, they believe they are acting in the best interests of their children. In some cases, the act occurs immediately after custody is awarded to the other parent; in others, abductors find fault with the other parent for nonsensical transgressions. Anger is the prevailing motive for parental abductions.
Occasionally, judges do make mistakes and give custody to an unfit parent, or award unsupervised visitation, even if the parent is dangerous and has a history of problems. Parents unhappy with their arrangement should consult a lawyer and go to court to argue the need to modify their case rather than to try the system themselves.
There is no way to prevent your spouse from stealing your child. You can and should, however, take preventive measures which may discourage your spouse or, at least, give you leverage with police and the courts if your spouse goes ahead with their plan.
These ideas are what you need to know to be in the best position possible:
“    It is crucial that you have a clear, recent photograph of the child. Likewise, a list of distinguishing marks such as scars and birthmarks (or tattoos) is essential.   Many police departments offer fingerprinting for children. As basic as it seems, you should know the social security number of the child and the other parent.
“    Keep a list of the names and last known telephone numbers and addresses of family members and friends of the other parent who might provide assistance to the abducting parent or your client in the event of a kidnapping. In addition, if anyone outside of the family has shown an increased or unusual interest in the child, you should keep note of that person’s identifying information (name, address, appearance).
“    In every case in which you have a concern about kidnapping, contact the United States State Department to “flag” the child’s passport.
Parental kidnapping isn’t always as severe as it sounds. The simplest kidnapping is a refusal to return the child after scheduled visitation or temporary visitation. You know where the child is, but the other parent refuses to return the child. If it is during the school year and the child goes to school, you should pick up the child with or without the police and proceed to court to obtain a court order. This also constitutes contempt, because the failure or refusal to return a child at the end of court-ordered visitation or temporary custody warrants a right to file a Complaint for Contempt.

Take these precautions:
1.  Hire a Lawyer and get legal “custody” of your child – whether it is temporary or permanent.
2.  Think about getting counseling to work out differences with your former spouse.
3.  File a report with the local police stating the threats your spouse has made.
4.  Warn your children.
5.  Leave your custody order at your child’s school, day care center, camp, or with babysitters or after-school instructors.
6.  Stay on good terms with your in-laws.

Statistics from courts around the country show a tremendous increase in the number of people who represent themselves (pro se’) in divorce cases. It’s perfectly legal to represent yourself, but it is very difficult. Unless you have an ability to grasp legal concepts, it will be hard to master such issues as the rules of procedure, discovery and how to best use evidence.
When you represent yourself in a family law matter, you are held to the same standard as an attorney. This applies to your preparation of paperwork and your conduct at all hearings. Your lack of legal knowledge may cause you to make serious errors in handling your case.
Many judges dislike unrepresented parties.  Many unrepresented people who think they have a great case find out otherwise after a judge rules against them because they can’t tell the judge everything they want to because of the rules of evidence. If you don’t have a lawyer but your spouse does, their lawyer can ask you whatever questions they want and there is nobody to object to those questions but you. If you don’t know when to object, you might answer questions you don’t have to and unwittingly damage your case.
It’s also hard to emotionally distance yourself enough so you can be objective. It takes enormous discipline to act calm and rational when you are emotionally invested, but falling apart or blowing up will only hurt your case. The best representation generally comes from a dispassionate third party, such as a skilled divorce attorney.
Even if you are thinking of representing yourself, consult with an attorney to find out what your legal rights are and what action you should take to protect those rights. A couple of hours of a lawyer’s time could save you a lot later.

In the event either party in a divorce alleges drug abuse on behalf of the other party when there are children involved, the court can order drug testing.  Drug testing can be ordered by the court based on a request by either party or both parties and the court can order drug testing based on its own findings absent a request by either or both parties.  In most cases the court will require both parties to a drug test.  However, the requesting party will be required to pay for such a test upfront.  If the test results of the other party are positive then they will be ordered to reimburse the requesting party for the cost of the test.  IF they are negative, the requesting party will pay for the test.  If the court orders the test absent a request from either party, the parties will pay for their own test.  Never request drug testing if you are not reasonably sure that the other party will test positive because the court does not like “witch hunts!”
If you believe that your spouse or former spouse is abusing drugs you should request that the court order random drug testing.  Usually, the other party will always agree to random testing because to oppose it would give the appearance that they have something to hide.  Then the best procedure is to wait until a Friday or Saturday night or a time when it is likely they will indulge.  The following morning, have someone other than you contact the person to be tested and inform them they have 48 hours to test.  Failure to comply with any request for testing will likely be considered a “dirty” or positive test.
When requesting drug testing, be aware that there are three types of tests available – blood, urine and hair follicle.  Hair follicle is the most accurate as it can detect drug presence up to a year preceding use.

Filing first can make things easier.  Although some attorneys will tell you how there is no real advantage to filing first, they’re wrong!  Here’s why it makes good legal sense:
1.  First, you will establish a clear mark in time that the court may use as the point of “irretrievable breakdown.” This date will be critical if you fear that your spouse may try to hide or transfer assets to defeat your claims or deny you your fair share.  It also could save you from debt that your spouse may recklessly incur on your behalf.  The earlier the date, the better off you will be.  To delay filing will only give your spouse more time to hide and transfer away assets, or use debt as a weapon, before he or she files.
2.  Second, remember: first impressions count.  By filing first you demonstrate to your spouse that you have the emotional strength to deal with the situation.  Rather than letting divorce happen to you, you show that you and your attorney are prepared, resourceful, and ready to handle any contingency.  This impression will help deter your spouse from the common divorce tricks, intimidation or spiteful acts ever so common in divorce matters and, in the end, save you time, money, and frustration.
3.  Third, when you file first, you make it your case.  You put yourself in the driver’s seat.  If your spouse does not file a counter-suit for divorce and if the need ever arises or you so desire, because you filed first you may dismiss the case.
4.  Fourth, in a contested case, the Petitioner goes first.  If your case goes to trial, you and your attorney will present evidence and testimony first.  Your team gets the benefit of explaining everything to the Judge.  Only after this will your spouse have the opportunity to try to change the Judge’s mind.  Your attorney will be able to make arguments first and rebut any argument made by your spouse.  To an attorney, having the advantage of “going first” at trial is hard to overstate.  Since half of all cases that go to trial settle mid-trial, by going first your attorney can most effectively project the strength of your case.

We have found that when people are looking for a lawyer to handle their divorce, custody, modification or enforcement matter, you should be looking for the following qualities:
1.  No matter what your preference to style is, make sure your attorney is local.  Your attorney should know the judges, know the local rules and know the reputable attorneys in the area.
2.  Your attorney should have a narrow practice focus.  If your case is complex or of great significance, you should deal with a lawyer who almost exclusively focuses their practice on the area of law with which you are dealing.

3.  If you have children, find an attorney who will put your children first.  The client’s children need to be the number one priority for both the client and the attorney.  No one should abuse, misuse, or manipulate the children in a divorce case.
4.  Your attorney should work at all times, zealously, toward the goal of getting the case resolved.  Does the attorney realize that without a specific action plan the case is likely to take more time and cost more?  Does the attorney routinely schedule a settlement conference at the earliest time available?  Does the attorney typically provide a settlement offer to the other side at the earliest opportunity?
5.  Whoever you hire should encourage – better yet insist – that you take charge of your case.  Has the attorney explained that the more fighting there is, the more that will be spent for attorney fees?  Does this attorney keep the billing up to date so the client knows at all times what the legal expenses are, and what work they paid for?
6.  In the final decision, it’s all about feeling comfortable.  Ask the right questions.  Stay informed.

In a perfect world, all clients would be able to secure a divorce attorney’s legal representation.  There are circumstances, however, when a client cannot afford to hire a lawyer even though they need one.  There are no court-appointed attorneys for spouses in a divorce as there are in criminal cases.
Some clients can afford to hire an attorney, however they choose to save money and act as their own attorney.  This can be an enormous mistake. Once a Judgment is entered, there are very limited circumstances under which it can be set aside and motions to do so are rarely granted.
The primary disadvantages of self-representation are that, if the opposing party has retained an attorney for representation during the divorce proceedings, the self-representing party is required to deal with the opposing party’s attorney. The attorney knows information about the divorce process that the lay person may not know.  Second, attorneys are knowledgeable about courtroom procedures and lay people generally are not.  It may be very difficult for a party to enter a courtroom and represent himself or herself before a judge.  Third, if the party opts to represent themselves, they may be harboring a lot of anger, sadness, or may be in a fragile emotional state and may not be able to effectively do so.  Fourth, if significant discovery is required during the divorce proceedings, the self-representing party may have a difficult time complying with the discovery requests and may not know of all of the potential discovery tactics.  Last, the self-representing party may not be aware of all of the tactics used in divorce proceedings with respect to, among other things, dividing property and debts.  Although the court has an obligation to ensure that any type of divorce settlement is fair and equitable, the court is not only looking out for the self-representing person, they are also looking out for the opposing party, whether represented or not.